Chores, chores, chores

I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is chores. We want our kids to do them so that they learn to help clean the house. We also want to teach them responsibility and we don’t want them to be lazy room mates and spouses when the finally leave our nest. Yet a lot of times it’s easier and quicker at first to do it ourselves.

We’ve tried a lot of different things over the years. We tried paying them for their chores, but that actually was set up more complicated than we were able to follow through with and it didn’t work for us. We tried drawing sticks for the daily chores, we tried marking off chore charts. We’ve had house wide chore charts, and now we have a specific kitchen chore chart and we are trying a ticket system for the rest of the house.

This is our kitchen chore chart. We’ve been using some form of this wheel for years now. You know if it lasts more than a few months then you’ve got a pretty good system. As kids have gotten older we’ve had to add sections and currently we pair an older sibling with a younger one to help each other out. It’s been beat up, dropped on the floor, stepped on, yet we just pick it up, put it back on the fridge, and keep on spinning it. I do need to make a new one soon because Leah has been asking what her chore is. Also, Taylor, my oldest, is gone more and more between work, school, and FFA responsibilities and we probably should just take her name off.

So here’s how the chart works. You have your assigned job for a full week. Some jobs are harder than others. Obviously washing the dishes for 10 people will take more time than setting the table. This system allows hard weeks and easier weeks. My kids help cook from a young age. They start with grating cheese or tearing lettuce for salads. They also help us make a menu. Cooking includes whatever meals they are home for. I usually just take care of breakfast since I don’t want them eating cold cereal everyday. Also some children are harder to wake up in the morning than others. We aren’t perfect with using it. Not all the dishes get done every day and there is still a lot of stuff on the counters, but we are getting there, and each child knows when we have our clean up times, that is their job.

This is something we are just starting and I don’t know if we will keep it or not. The top three items have to be done before the kids can earn any more tickets. Tickets can be redeemed for extra time on the computer, kindle, or Robert’s old phone that they use to play games on. Certain children are more motivated to earn tickets so they can webcam their friends. Other kids don’t really care and are content to play outside rather than earn tickets for game time. It’s fine, if they are outside then they aren’t messing things up inside and I can maybe get some stuff done, if I’m not outside with them. I will say, the ones who are motivated are doing a great job! Some of the bigger jobs I knew would take a day or two of consistently working on them to really get them more manageable, but we are totally getting there. The kids have a tendency to be super sloppy in their bathroom and I totally need to KonMarie under their sink where my girls keep their feminine supplies and we keep the extra toilet paper, but that’s a job for mom. It is nice to get my doors and wall wiped down, though.

Is this perfect? No. In fact if you just came over randomly you would probably find 2-3 loads of laundry that need put away. The table may or may not have been cleared from the last meal, it depends of mom was on top of reminding whoever has that job. I wish it was automatic, but it’s not. Odds are that there will be toys and random bits of paper all over the floor and shoes and boots everywhere. Plus with kids growing up we really are at a place where we need to adjust expectations for some of the kids. I need to find appropriate chores for Taylor that she can do on the weekends and in the moments that she’s home without overwhelming her. I also need to make sure I include Leah and help her to feel like an important part of our family when it comes to helping out and cleaning.

If you have a system that works for you I’d love to hear it! I think a big part of any system is knowing your own personality and the personality of your family members and finding a good place to start. Oh, and also, I love The FlyLady. If you haven’t heard of her, check her out. She has all kinds of tips and systems that you can tweak. I’ve followed her methods off and on for years and I believe it is totally acceptable to take bits and pieces and make them your own, you don’t have to follow someone else exactly if their methods or personality don’t work exactly with yours.